Adult sleepover rules & the morning after etiquette

From one-night stand to the first sleepover in a relationship, the adult sleepover is something we all do. At some point you’re going to simultaneously get under the sheets with another person (or people! No judgment) and have to face the social conventions that come with it.

But time’s are a-changing, and relationship dynamics/structures are, too. Adult sleepovers aren’t the cut-and-dry patriarchal encounters anymore. There is no longer a “how soon is too soon to stay the night”. We women have needs.  As such we’ve proposed our own guidelines for you to consider when you have your next adult sleepover. Read ’em, stay safe, and have fun.

Dress attire: What you wore out.

What to pack: This is tricky, because the ONS isn’t expected. So, whenever you go out, be prepared with the essentials: your phone, preferably fully charged so you can figure out how the F you’re going to get home, money (a given), house keys, your travel card, a token condom just in case, foundation/concealer + brush, and liquid eyeliner.

Pay for cab, Y/N?: Nah, babe. We’re gon be quite egalitarian in approach here: If you’re going to theirs, they pay, because you’ll have to then pay for transport home. If you’re going to yours, then technically you should pay. If you’re outside yours and they offer to cover the cab/Uber because they’re quite traditional, be gracious and let them. If this doesn’t sit well with your super-independent-laydee ways, go halvsies.

Stay for breakfast, Y/N?: Helllllll no, honey! Get your behind outta there, pronto. It was just a one-night thing so you’ll want to skedaddle as soon as you wake up. Better yet, as soon as you’ve got what you came for, head on out. Benefits to this being: you wake up in your own bed; you don’t have this random person who you’ll inevitably run in to at the most inopportune time see you looking like you’ve been F’ed sideways through a rose bush, and you’ll avoid the morning walk of shame/success. Long story short, the quicker you can bounce, do.

Chance of recurrence: 0-35% depending on how good it was and how not gross they are after significant social media stalking.

Dress attire: Anything from super-casz to tarted-up real nice. Maybe it’s a summer fling or maybe it’s a casual friend with benefits, you’re in that tricky, in-between phase so it’ll depend on what activities you’ll be doing (double entendre unintended).

What to pack: Again, variable. Depending on how long / how comfortable you feel around this person, it can range from the above ONS purse containing the essentials to a slightly larger handbag (like one of these Loewe tote bags) or backpack filled with a sneaky toothbrush, change of undies, face wipes, any extra makeup/beauty items you need, maybe a different shirt/outfit if you can subtly fit it in case your overnighter turns into a weekend-long hang.

Pay for cab, Y/N?: Yeah, fair’s fair; go halves. Again, if they offer, though, don’t feel guilty taking them up on it.

Stay for breakfast, Y/N?: You’ll have to read the situation. Definitely stay over, but use your intuition to gauge whether it feels right, or whether you should spruce yourself up in the bathroom and leave in the morning.

Chance of recurrence: 50-80%, considering how much you dig them.

Dress attire: Anything goes, but it’s worth trying to make yourself look presentable. Who doesn’t like seeing their partner look like they’ve made an effort?

What to pack: Your typical overnight bag that you’d take a friend’s, the full enchilada. And enjoy the benefits of a committed relationship: no need to pack lingerie sets, go ahead and bring your comfy Cosabella Pajamas (if you haven’t left one there yet).

Pay for cab, Y/N?: Go halves unless they’re insistent.

Stay for breakfast, Y/N?: Not even a question; yes! You’ve already planned your outfit so your Instagram husband can photograph you while out to brunch.

Chance of recurrence: 100%, as long as all’s well in the relationship.